Missis Joker (missisjoker) wrote,
Missis Joker

When rules change, Chapter 1 part a

Title: When rules change (working title!)
Author: MissisJoker
Warnings: bad grammar XD

Fill for the prompt from my dear accomplice [info]vardek   on Norse!Kink.
(I had a similar idea for a long time, so it was indeed a crime not to try to fill it *brow wiggle* )
Work is in progress, so I would be grateful for any ideas or criticism or pokes for mistakes ( work is unbetaed, so all mistakes are mine).

P.S. If you have an idea how to title it- please tell me, because all my titles are epic failures XD

Chapter 1, part A

“Tell me again, agent Coulson, what am I doing here?”

Steve Rogers tore his gaze away from the night sky and glanced at a short sturdy man standing beside him.

Coulson flashed him a toothy smile.

“As I've said before, we are making contact with extraterrestrial life form and in case of unfavorable outcome we would like to have among us a man of your level of...expertise.”

“I see.”   Rogers chuckled and turned back to cloudless blackness above him.

The desert  was still and quiet, disturbed only by purr of agent's car.

“Looks like your aliens are getting late.”

Coulson checked his watch and fixed his tie, then reached for the comm link,

“All agents on stand by, any time now.”

All of a sudden a whirlwind of lightning slashed through the sky and hit the ground behind the dunes to the south of their present location.

Coulson barked a short “Move out” and dashed for his car, Steve hot on his heels, wondering silently how the superior alien life form that had traveled through space and stars could miss a simple ground target.


“So much for the warm welcoming party,” Loki muttered quietly, frowning and swiping the dust off his cape as he looked around the vast midgardian plain. The place looked remote and desolated, no signs of human settlements in sight or any trace of people's presence whatsoever.

Thor growled in anger somewhere beside him, “How dare they mock the mighty Thor?! Those pitiful humans dare to provoke my wrath?”


“Don't thwart me, brother! They asked to meet us here, so where are they? They can't be trusted if they break the promise so eagerly!”

Loki rolled his eyes in frustration. His brother's temper was quicker then his hammer and far quicker then his brain. The fact that he got used to it while growing up didn't make it any less irritating.

“We simply might have missed the right location.”

“It is unheard of for Bifrost to miss, so stop excusing them, Loki!”

“Oh, is it now?” The younger prince let sarcasm seep into his tone.
“Should I remind you of unfortunate event on Alfenheim when I ended up in a swamp thanks to Heimdall's foul aim?”

Thor waved dismissively at Loki and kept looking around, swinging his hammer threateningly in his arms.

“Don't blame the Guard for your bad luck. You seem to find yourself some mud wherever you go. It might be just a trait of yours.”

“It was not my  fault,” Loki let out a barely audible snarl at Thor's armored back. The elder prince ignored him and finally stopped pacing, motioning to the distance.

“We should go that way, through the dunes, I swear I saw a light behind those hills...”


“Don't interrupt me, brother!”

“Thor, look.”- Loki nodded to his left and continued to speak as Thor strained his eyes to see through the darkness.

'"There seems to be a paved road not far from here, we should go...”- Thor didn't let him finish.

“Why would you defy the way I chose?”

Because I don't want to drag myself through the desert just to give you a chance to show off how brute you are.

“Because it would be wise to follow the wide road since humans surely will chose the easier way to catch up with us.” - Loki soothed Thor's disapproval with a silken response, and his brother eagerly took the bait.

“Fine, so be it. But they must do so quickly for I swear by my father's name, I'll teach them some respect.”

“Of course you will.”

The brothers glanced at their landing spot for the last time and briskly headed for the road.


The pavement consisted of myriads of tiny stones binded together by some sort of hardened tar.

The material itself did not interest Loki, but the amount of work and skill required to assembly it seemed quite enormous.

That fact alone made Loki wonder if he had underestimated earthlings.

Loki forced himself awake from musings and fastened the pace to keep up with Thor.

The road ahead made a sharp turn and disappeared completely behind a moonlit hill, hiding away from the wayfarer.

A great spot to make an ambush.

He shrugged the ridiculous idea off. No one in all nine realms would dare to attack the princes of Asgard when they came in peace.

A loud rumble made Loki jump.

The sound came from behind the hill. The source of it was still hidden but sound itself was unfamiliar- it was not of an animal origin, but rather of some sort of machinery...

A second later two bright lights rushed around the corner and charged at them with a speed of enraged bull.

Loki instinctively darted out of the way, but Thor was not as fast.

The clash was hard, the metal carcass of the carriage front hollowed and took a shape of Thor's figure. The right light instantly died out, the left was shining irregularly, and the top front of the vehicle scattered into a shower of glass slivers, covering Thor's head and shoulders and making him sparkle in the dim illumination.

Thor stumbled back a couple of steps and bellowed, “What kind of sorcery is this?!”

Loki sprang forward, sword ready in his arm, when a high-pitched female shriek pierced the air,

“Oh my god!”

At least she recognized Thor, Loki thought, taking his place at brother's side and holstering his weapon.

Thor was furious. He swung his hammer high to unleash his wrath and Loki caught his arm just on time to stop it from connecting with a unfortunate criminal's head.

A small good looking maiden head.

With huge brown eyes and hair of forest nut color. And skin pale as ghost's.

Thor looked dumbfounded and lowered the weapon, surprise and shame filling his face.

The girl strangely enough ignored the hammer part and started babbling apologies, trying to touch Thor's chest as if searching for injuries.

“I'm so sorry, I didn't see you, I ...goodness gracious, are you all right?”

The look of desperation on her lovely face made Loki chuckle.

“Do not trouble yourself, milady, my brother is all well. Tell us better, what are you doing alone in this late hour in a place like this?”

“Well,” maiden's eyes kept swinging between brothers' faces and she looked more and more confused with each passing second.

“I'm astrophysicist, I've been tracking down unusual space phenomena, like...have you seen that lightning storm like an hour ago? I was looking for the place it stroke the ground. I've never seen anything like that before...”

“Brother, I think she speaks of Bifrost.” Thor sent Loki an explanatory look and Loki rolled his eyes.

“Bifrost? What is Bifrost? Never heard that name before...Are you guys tourists or something?”

“Bifrost is a bridge we use to travel between the realms,” Thor tried to clarify but only confused the woman further.

“Travel between realms? What do you mean?”

“We are crown princes of Asgard, the Realm Eternal, we came here...”

The girl frowned and took a step back.

“Oh, I see...Guys, I don't want any trouble, I ...”

Thor extended his huge palm and the girl jerked away from the friendly gesture, leaving the elder prince frustrated.
“Fear not, fair maiden, we mean you no harm, we came in peace...”

“Jane, is everything all right? Holy shit!”

Another woman emerged from the back of the carriage and stopped dead at the sight of damage from the collision.

“What the hell is that?”

Jane turned to the newcomer and saw the disfigured metal. That obviously shocked her greatly as she gaped in horror, glanced at the brothers and then ran to the second woman seeking comfort and protection.

“Darcy, I think...” Jane, that was the maiden's name, wasn't it? Jane leaned to the second woman and whispered into her ear. “I think those two are aliens.”

“Aliens? Are you out of your mind?”

Jane frowned and made a wide gesture towards the collision side. “Then how would you explain this?”

Darcy briefly examined the Thor-shaped imprint in the front of the car and shrugged, “Oh, I don't know...steroids?”

Loki glanced at Thor and bit his tongue from saying anything that could ruin the precious look of confusion on  his brother's face.

“Jane, should I taze him? He freaks me out.”

“Why would you doubt my words? I speak no lies, we are from another world, why won't you believe us?”

Darcy took a step forward, shielding the smaller woman with her own body.

“Well, I don't know, dude, may be because you don't look like an alien? Or perhaps because if you were an actual alien, this whole desert would be crawling with government agents by now?”

That very moment Loki heard a familiar sound of quiet rumbling and two, three- no, four identical black carriages appeared from behind the hill. Both women followed the procession quietly, their faces going blank.

“Oh...”, said Jane.

“Oh,” Darcy echoed a bit louder.

They exchanged glances and turned to face the brothers in unison.

Jane's loss of words clearly didn't apply to her companion, as Darcy just shrugged and smiled. “Well, I guess, welcome to Earth, guys.”


“I'm agent Fill Coulson with the Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division, I am in charge of your accommodation and will be at your service the whole duration of your stay. I'm hereby authorized to greet you on behalf of the humanity and express a wish that our negotiations will be successful and your time on Earth will be pleasant. Welcome to Midgard, your royal Highnesses. ”

The man in dark costume bowed before Thor shortly, then motioned the prince towards one of the cars.

Thor looked pleased with the respectful greeting as the man accompanied him through the formation of soldiers who were saluting to him as he walked by.

So easily fooled by flattery, my dear sibling, Loki thought, letting his sharp eyes travel through the crowd and collect every tiny peace of information undetected as the older prince absorbed everyone's attention.

The younger prince followed Thor quietly, analyzing and calculating.

Humans had always had a taste for gold and silver when it came to decorating officials and those of power, a predisposition not easily abandoned.

And yet, all the guards were dressed in identical black costumes and helmets impenetrable for opponents eye, masking their faces completely. Their weapons mirrored their exterior – light, easily carried, barely visible in the darkness and most likely efficient.

This is not a honor guard, this is a group of soldiers ready to kill if we misbehave.

Detracting but very wise approach.


“He is a very good looking for an alien...”

The women's compliments to his brother didn't interest Loki at all, but he knew that a woman in love would be a very good source of information. Especially if she is a woman of science.
Loki strained his hearing to catch the fragments of conversation.

Those two maidens he and Thor met moments earlier were crowded out of the princes way and were emotionally exchanging words on the side of the road.

“What? Just look at him!”

“Well, I must admit, he has a very nice bone structure...”

“Oh, I would definitely bone his structure.”


Loki chuckled as Jane maiden sounded clearly embarrassed  with  her companion's dreamy words.

“Remind me why did I hire you?”

“Because I make amazing instant coffee?”

“Uh, fine. But still, don't you think he looks a bit too...slim?”


Loki silently agreed with Darcy's question. He looked at Thor's retrieving back and huffed, his brother was almost twice the size of lady Jane, and he was the tallest of all of the warriors present.

“Just look at him- pale skin and eyes gleaming with hunger...”

“You make him sound like a vampire. C'mon, it's just the hair- dark hair always makes a man look paler.”

A dark hair?

Wait, what?

He sharply turned and flinched as two girls saw his movement and silenced, trying to hide embarrassment, like they didn't want him to know they were talking about ...him?

Loki caught himself gaping.

It was not...unexpected, really, and surely nothing to be excited about.

Any warrior from the Realm Eternal could easily compete with any earthling, and the attention of the maidens was something rather predictable, but still...Loki couldn't stop a warm feeling blooming in his belly.


He turned and found himself face to face with a blond man in an old brown leather jacket.

Oh, the curious one...

The blond man held Loki's gaze without averting his eyes.

“So, um...how do you find our planet so far?”

Loki tilted his head and let his eyes wonder over the man that caught his attention before.

The blond man with luminous eyes stood a far from the formation, cautious expression on his young face, calm and steady, watching other soldiers salute the Aesir.

He was the only one that didn't bow.

The man lacked fearless authority that son of Coul emanated, and yet approached Loki without hesitation. The prince didn't mistake the man's inelegant speech for fear- no, it was rather a manifest of his shyness.

He clearly differed from the other soldiers. Loki couldn't feel any fear or hostility from the man, only guarded curiosity towards unexpected guest.
He was the only one to pointedly ignore Thor and speak directly to Loki.

Hm, a hidden plot perhaps? Attempt to befriend me, calculated bevorehead?

The prince finally replied,


The man smiled and Loki found himself mesmerized by sincerity of that smile.

The man extended his arm and smiled even wider, “I'm Steve Rogers, nice to meet you.”

Loki eyed the arm for a second, then shook it.
“Loki Odinson, and I believe the feeling is mutual.”

The palm was warm and dry and unexpectedly strong for a human.

Somehow the common gesture of acknowledgment only made Loki feel even warmer.

Very strange.

“May I inquire why were you late to meet us?”

Steve shrugged, “It took Coulson a good 20 minutes to get here from the rendezvous point.”

“What rendezvous point?”

“The one you missed.”

Loki couldn't help himself and laughed. Steve's smile blossomed as he motioned forward.

“So, shell we go?”

Loki nodded, “Indeed we shell.”


“Do you realize we were the ones who made the first contact?”

The women surrounded agent Coulson in an attempt to secure their own right to communicate with aliens.

Coulson seemed unflurried.

“And we are grateful for your assistance but it is no longer needed.”

“You can't just take them away and leave, it is unfair!”

“I assure you your work here won't be left unappreciated. Say, in sign of gratitude I won't suspend your drivers lisence."

"Suspend my...why would you do that?"

"Should I remind you that you just run over a pedestrian?"

Jane shut her mouth for a second, Coulson used the momentum to escape.

"Now if you'll excuse me...”

“No, we wont excuse you! Listen,”- Darcy caught the agent by the elbow and conspiratorially whispered into his ear, “that Thor guy- dude, he is like a knot of nerves, you should have seen him when we met him, he was so angry he got me scared...”

Coulson cautiously detached himself from the girl's grasp, “I do believe he had all reasons to be frustrated-  you hit him with the van, which is not so easily forgotten.”

“Well, yeah,” Darcy paused for a second, then grinned, “but you should have seen how Jane calmed him down! He was so ogling her and just...relaxed at once. You should take her with you for real, you know, to ease tension.”

Coulson considered the girl for a moment. “You do realize that you are trying to pimp out your boss right now?”

"Is it working?”

Coulson considered his options for a second. Civilian presence at the negotiations was greatly undesirable, but the implications of letting those two scientists go free outweighted the problem. It would be much easier to keep a low profile and prevent information from leaking if all the parties involved are under S.H.I.E.L.D.'s constant surveillance.
Plus there were not nearly enough females in his division.

“ I believe it is, ms. Lewis. ”

The agent made a quick motion to the soldier near him and the man immediately guided Jane to one of the cars.
When Coulson turned to leave, Darcy shouted, “Wait, what about me? You cant leave me here, take me with you!”

“And why would I do that?”

Darcy shrugged, “Because I'm awesome?”

Coulson tsked and pointed to the SUV.

“Get in the car.”

And the procession moved out.

Tags: coulson, darcy, loki, norse!kink, thor
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