Missis Joker (missisjoker) wrote,
Missis Joker

Tony/Loki, sneezing - minifill for Norse!Kink

Title: no title yet
Author: MissisJoker
Pairing: Tony/Loki, one-sided
Warnings: a bit of bad language

Tony glared at the villain towering menacingly in the middle of his penthouse.

It was rather regular afternoon in Stark's residence until Loki appeared in a green whirl of smoke.

Just like that, without an invitation or a proper warning.

Just popped up before Tony's eyes and gave Tony an instant boner.

Tony hated the guy.

Iron man had fought the Trickster face to face on several occasions, and each time was way too busy to appreciate the view since it was either a middle of a frenzied battle or a strategic retreat.

Now the illusive peacefulness of the moment gave Tony an opportunity to get a better look on the intruder, and he absently thought that it should be forbidden by law for the villains to be that hot.

Loki was tall, slender and had a face of an angel, voice of a devil and a costume of a Playboy model. Because seriously, why did he have to choose a skin-tight black leather full-body condom that left no curve to imagination?

It was similar to Romanoff's, but far less boring – elements of green added to the color diversity, and golden embroidery brought out the regalness.

Overall the outfit made it very hard for Tony to concentrate because it made it very hard.

Tony put on his best poker face and poured himself a drink.

“May I help you?”

“How you can help me?” Loki laughed, and Tony felt goosebumps rush over his skin.

“I don't need your help, you pitiful human!”

“That was a bit rude, don't you think?” Tony tore his wondering eyes off the villain and forced them to pay attention to the sinking of an olive in his martini.

That didn't last long.

Loki's gaze darkened and Tony absently thought that it was a good time to suit-up.

“I do what I want.”

“Not in my house.” Tony took a step forward, letting his curiosity win over the common sense.

The God reciprocated, strolling closer.

“This is my house now.”

Tony quirked an eyebrow, trying to ignore the non-existent innuendo. “Really?”

“Yes, as is this planet. And if you try to stop me, you will perish.”

Another step forward.

“What makes you so sure?”

“I have an army.”

“And we have a Hulk.”

Loki leered, “Oh, the green skinned monster? I don't think he will be much of a help to you.”

“We'll give it a try.”

Loki considered Stark with disdain,

“Would you be as confident if I separate your head from your body?”

Tony couldn't think of a witty comeback because he was standing now only an arm length away from Loki and the other man's smell filled his nose, making his head spin. God, Loki smelled so freaking good...

“I don't do well with threats.”

“It wasn't a threat,” Loki's pale face lit up with murderous grin,

“It was a promise.”

Tony sobered up for and reached to his belt with the free hand, letting dexterous fingers search and press the panic button. It didn't feel right and Tony frowned, as the belt let out a quiet hiss.

Loki pounced, ready to strike.

“I'll teach you some respe...”

He didn't finish and froze, ice blue eyes round and pupils blown, fixated on Tony.

Tony swallowed hard and forgot how to breathe, because that kind of look could mean only two things – either he was going to be fucked hard, or he was going to be fucked up hard.

And since Loki gave him no reason to believe in the first scenario, Tony went with the second one.

He braced himself for the blow that never came.

Instead Loki stepped back and sneezed.

Tony looked at the Trickster in utter amazement, “You were saying?”

Loki blinked once, twice, then growled, “I'll teach you...Achoo!”

Tony completely forgot the drink in his hand just stared at his counterpart.

Sneezing made Loki look so... disheveled, so vulnerable, so...human.

It made Tony's arousal much worse.

The man silently blessed his pants for being so loose- fitted, because that thin material was the only thing standing between Loki and Tony's raging hard on.

Loki looked childishly lost and furious at the same time,

“What witchcraft is this?!”

He stepped back and Tony leaned in, using the opportunity to dominate still not fully sure of what the hell was going on with Loki.

“Well, I don't know, may be you caught a pitiful human virus of sort?”

Good, but rather unbelievable theory.

And then Tony felt it.
A hellish burning in his eyes and throat and rushing of the blood to the skin as the pepper spray finally got to him.

Well, shit.

Loki sneezed again and again, covering his face with his palms and trying to get as far away from Tony as possible.

And Stark called upon his iron will and kept advancing, watching through the veil of his own tears and snivel as Loki sneezed harder and harder, letting that rigid mask of the monster he always put on himself drop and becoming completely disoriented and helpless.

Tony cursed his own body for spoiling the moment of triumph for that he had never seen Loki so... alive before.

“You belligerent idiot, what did you do to me?”

“I'd like to keep this secret to myself, darling...”

Loki didn't let Stark finish, rushing forward in rage and grabbing him by the throat.

The next moment Tony found himself flying out of the window and plummeting down with rather unmanly shriek..

The Stark Tower was 115 stores high so it was a good minute before brave Captain America proved to be a man of perfect timing and caught right above the ground.

Stark didn't waste time falling though- he reached for his phone in mid-air and texted Pepper to order more of that glorious pepper spray.

If the only way to break through Loki's mask was to make him sneeze- well, Tony would use it without hesitation.

Both in interrogation room and, if lucky, in the bedroom.

When Tony landed like a princess in Captain's arms, he dialed Pepper again and added leather gloves, manacles, horse whip and a gas mask to the shopping list.

Tags: crack!fic, loki, missisjoker, norse!kink, thor, tony stark
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